


We Go Together or We Don't Go Down At All

by Betweenthelines5



Series: Love Feels Like War [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Clarke, F/F, Fine Stud Lexa, Fluff and Smut, G!p Lexa, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-09-15 19:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9251705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betweenthelines5/pseuds/Betweenthelines5
Summary: Sequel to I Hate Everything About You (Why Do I Love You?)Clarke and Lexa's life through one-shots.





	1. Bad Habits

**Author's Note:**

> Figured I'd post the first one-shot a few days early.
> 
> Here's how everything started out, hope you enjoy.

**“** That’s all for the day.” Lexa says, waving off her teammates as she rounds up the final soccer ball, “Same time tomorrow, don’t be late.”

“You gonna come over?” Anya asks, still slightly out of breath she follows her cousin towards the parking lot.

“Not today.” Lexa says, pulling her jersey off. “Maybe tomorrow. Finals are in a few weeks and I’m not even close to prepared, I need to study.”

“God, you’re such a loser.” Anya laughs, coming to a stop at her car. “How you even pull off this badass reputation is beyond me; I don’t get it.”

“Don’t be an asshole.” Lexa says, nudging her in the shoulder. “Aden broke his phone and hasn’t gotten his replacement yet, text me if he’s at your place? I’ll swing by and pick him up on my way home.”

“Will do, _Commander_.” Anya says, sliding into the driver’s seat.

Lexa rolls her eyes at the nickname but chooses not to make a comment, knowing it will only add fuel to the fire. After adjusting the strap of her bag, she makes her way into the empty school and over to her locker to grab the things she’ll need to study with. She’s halfway to the double doors a few minutes later when she’s nearly run over by a very upset Clarke Griffin, who is coming out of the art room, blue eyes full of tears.

“What the fuck, Woods.” Clarke says angrily, trying to cover up the fact that she’s been crying but failing miserably.

Lexa rolls her eyes, “You ran into me, Griffin. Don’t be an ass.”

“What are you even doing here?” Clarke asks, looking anywhere but at the brunette. “School ended hours ago.”

“I could ask you the same question.” Lexa says, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow. “So, what’s the matter? Another boy didn’t work out?”

“Fuck you.” Clarke says, shoving the soccer captain. “You don’t know shit about me.”

“It was only a joke, Clarke.” Lexa says, a smirk playing at her lips. She just _loves_ how much more attractive the blonde becomes when she’s ready to rip someone’s face off; it makes her day if she’s being honest. “Calm down.”

“God, you’re so infuriating sometimes, do you know that?” Clarke asks rhetorically. “Do you even give a damn about anyone else or are you really just as heartless as you seem?”

“I care a lot actually.” Lexa states, matter of fact.

Clarke laughs, a certain bite to her tone, “Like anyone would believe that.”

“You’ve never given me a chance.” Lexa says, crossing her arms across her chest as she leans against the wall, “I’m pretty great to be around.”

“I highly doubt that.” Clarke says, clenching her jaw; she’d rather be anywhere but here at the moment. “Don’t you have somewhere to be? You know, like with some random girl to hook up with?”

“They can wait.” Lexa says, although there isn’t anyone. “I’d rather stay here and talk to you, if that’s alright. You seem upset.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Clarke says, “It’s none of your business.”

“Alright then.” Lexa says, shrugging her shoulder. “Suit yourself.”

“My dad is really sick.” Clarke says, her voice shaky.

Lexa, who has started to make her way to the exit once more, pauses to look at the blonde, a small frown on her face, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“He has cancer.” Clarke says, wiping roughly at a stray tear and she has no idea why she’s telling Lexa Woods of all people her life problems. “They caught it in time but he doesn’t look like himself anymore and…”

“It’s okay to be upset.” Lexa says, shifting from one foot to the other; she really doesn’t know how to handle the girl in front of her. “At least they got to it before it was too late, right? He’s gonna be okay?”

“They think so but it’s not definite.” Clarke says, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “God, I don’t know why I just told you that; it’s not like you care.”

Lexa sighs in frustration, “I literally just told you five seconds ago that I, in fact, cared about what you had to say. I’m not that shitty of a person.”

“Your track record proves otherwise.” Clarke says, shrugging on her jacket so she can leave as well. “You can leave.”

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to upset the _Princess_ , now would I?” Lexa scoffs, pulling her keys from her backpack. “You know, you shouldn’t always believe what other people have to say; most of the time they don’t have a fucking clue as to what they’re talking about.”

“Yeah, right, because you don’t have a new girl every other day.” Clarke says, unwillingly following after the brunette. “People wouldn’t talk if you didn’t give them a reason to.”

“I disagree. People always talk, no matter what.” Lexa says, unlocking her car from a distance. “It sounds to me, Griff, like your jealous. Do you wish it was me you were going home with every night instead of the others? ‘Cause if it means that much to you, I think I might be able to arrange something.”

“I wouldn’t have sex with you if you were the last person on the planet.” She fires back, a hint of a smirk playing at her lips.

“Ouch, that was harsh.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive.”

“I don’t know, Clarke, that one hurt a little bit.” Lexa says, opening her driver’s side door, “Just know, you’re missing out on a good time.”

“Something tells me I’ll live.”

0o0o0

“Just twenty-four hours ago you were saying how you wouldn’t fuck me even if I was the last person on earth and now you’re telling me that you’ve changed your mind in that amount of time?” Lexa smirks as she bites down on Clarke’s exposed neck, “I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“Shut up and fuck me, Woods.” Clarke says as she unzips her jeans and kicks them off to the side, trying to stifle back a moan.

“Pushy much?” Lexa asks, stepping out of her sweats, leaving her in nothing but her boxers and sports bra. “I like to take my time.”

Clarke, clearly irritated and a little sexually frustrated, reaches between their legs and tugs roughly at Lexa’s cock, smiling in triumphant when she gets the reaction she was looking for, “Hurry up or I’ll leave.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Lexa hisses as she situates herself firmly in between Clarke’s spread legs. She runs her shaft through wet folds and just as Clarke goes to open her mouth in protest, she pushes inside, bottoming out.

“ _Fuck_.” Clarke hiss, wrapping her legs firmly around Lexa’s waist.

Lexa pulls out slowly only to slam back in a second later; being inside Clarke is better than she would’ve ever thought possible. “So good.” She groans, pleasure coursing through her veins.

“Harder.” Clarke moans as she rakes her nails down a well-toned back, her hips rocking in time with every movement. Her head drops back against the wall at a particularly hard thrust and it takes everything in her not to cry out. “Faster, I’m almost there.”

Lexa starts pounding into Clarke, hard and fast, all resolve thrown out the window as she feels her own release fast approaching. Clarke buries her face in Lexa’s neck as her orgasm rips through her, causing her entire body to shake from the aftershock. Lexa follows closely behind, sending thick ropes of cum deep inside the blonde as wetness drips down their thighs.

“Fuck me.” Clarke says, out of breath.

Lexa pulls out, sighing in content, “I think I just did, Clarke.”

“You know what I meant.” Clarke says, pulling her clothes back on.

“You’re already done? What, can’t handle more?” Lexa asks, although she herself is putting her clothes back on. “I thought you were fun.”

“Believe me, I _am_ fun.” Clarke says, adjusting her top. “Just be lucky you even got me for ten minutes because it won’t happen again.”

“Yeah, okay.” Lexa says, situating herself in her boxers. “Give it a few days and then we’ll be right back here, fucking like animals.”

“Charming.” Clarke says sarcastically. “I was stressed, I needed a distraction, that’s exactly what you gave me. So, uh, thanks.”

“Anytime.” Lexa says, making her way out of the janitor’s closet and back into the empty hallway. “Really, _anytime_.”

“Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

Lexa looks at her, an eyebrow raised in amusement, “Ashamed of me?”

“I…” Clarke shakes her head, “Everyone talks, I’d rather them not.”

Lexa nods in understanding, “You okay?”

Clarke looks at her, taken aback but she waves it off, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good.” Lexa says, shrugging on her jacket. “Hope all is well, Clarke. See you class.”

0o0o0

“We really have to stop meeting like this.” Lexa says through clenched teeth as she grips the shelf behind her. “Fuck, Clarke.”

Clarke releases Lexa’s cock with a soft _p_ op as she stands back up, a mischievous look on her face, “Do you not like our arrangement?” She asks, ignoring the look of shock on the soccer captain’s face. “What?”

Lexa looks at her, clearly frustrated, “You can’t just not finish!’

“I think I can.” Clarke says as she pulls up her skirt, moving her panties to the side before sinking down onto Lexa’s shaft. “ _Uh, yes.”_

“You play dirty.” Lexa says, thrusting up into wet heat.

Clarke starts moving her hips, her hands gripping Lexa’s shoulders to use as more support while the older girl watches her in awe, “Only with you.”

“Not fair.” Lexa gasps as Clarke lifts up only to drop back down seconds later. “God, I hate how good you are at this.”

“It’s a gift.” Clarke says, eyes closing in bliss as Lexa’s cock brushes past a certain spot, “Do that again.”

Lexa repeats the motion, smiling in triumphant when Clarke cries out; she quickly brings the blonde into a kiss to quiet her down, “You like that?”

“Don’t be cocky.” Clarke says as she starts to move her hips faster.

Lexa, knowing they don’t have much time left, removes one of her hands from off the shelf and slides it in between their bodies. A single finger slips through wet folds and before Clarke has a time to protest, she presses her thumb down on her swollen clit, “I’m far from cocky, just honest.”

“I think- _fuck_ \- that’s the definition of cocky.” Clarke says, shuttering as Lexa starts to rub her clit in small, quick circles. “I’m gonna cum.”

“That’s the plan.” Lexa says, moaning out in pleasure as she orgasms.

“Don’t stop.” Clarke says, biting her lip as Lexa fastens her pace. “Yes, that’s it, right there.” She whines as her release burns through her. “ _Ugh!”_

Lexa waits a minute before pulling out, knowing that Clarke must be pretty sensitive, “You’re gonna get us caught, you know.”

Clarke rolls her eyes as she stands up, fixing her outfit, “Who’s the one who nearly knocked over the shelf yesterday because they couldn’t handle a simple blow job?”

“In my defense, I wasn’t expecting it.” Lexa says, zipping her jeans.

“Not my fault.” Clarke sing-songs as she opens the door.

“You’re ridiculous.” Lexa says, grabbing her backpack from the floor. “And to answer your other question, I like our arrangement just fine but more times than not I do have an entire house to myself. It just makes more sense to me that we maybe meet there instead, you know, so you don’t have to keep holding everything back. I know you’re struggling to stay quiet.”

Clarke gives her a look, “You’re never gonna stop, are you?”

“Not in this lifetime, no.” Lexa says, “Dad still alright?”

“For now.” Clarke says. She still doesn’t know why Lexa of all people always asks how her father is doing especially when she doesn’t even know him but who is she to question it. “You know; fuck buddies aren’t really supposed to talk about personal things. Just saying.”

“Well, I’m not like everyone else.” Lexa says, indifferent as they make their way towards their next classes, “So, same time tomorrow or are you gonna take me up on my offer and come over after school?”

“You won’t kill me?”

“Never even crossed my mind, Griffin.”

“Five, is that okay?” Clarke asks, pausing outside the art room.

Lexa nods, “I won’t have time to shower from practice before…”

“I’ll have to join you then.”

Lexa’s eyes widened, clearly surprised.

Clarke Griffin was going to be the death of her, of that she had no doubt.


	2. Someone Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glimpses throughout the pregnancy.

“Lex.”

No answer.

“Lexa.”

Silence.

Clarke groans in frustration, “Oh, for the love of- Lexa, wake up!”

Lexa jolts awake, eyes wide and full of panic, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m hungry.” Clarke pouts, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lexa sighs, relieved that there isn’t an actual emergency, “It’s nearly three in the morning, Clarke, can’t you wait just a little while longer?”

“No.” Clarke says, matter of fact. “I can’t.”

Lexa nods and sits up against the headboard, still half-asleep, “Okay then, what can I get for you, sweetheart? Do you want more pancakes?”

Clarke shakes her head, a disgusted look on her face, “I’ll pass.”

“That’s a first.” Lexa says, a smile playing at her lips as she takes in the adorable expression of her pregnant girlfriend. “Alright, that’s out. If I know you at all I’m assuming you’ve already figured out what you want.”

“Ice cream.” Clarke says, “Chocolate chip.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Griffin.” Lexa says, pressing a kiss to the blonde’s forehead. “You actually gonna stay awake this time or am I going to come back home and find you asleep again?”

“You don’t have to leave, do you?” Clarke asks, a guilty look on her face.

“We ran out yesterday but I haven’t had time to pick any up.” Lexa says as she roles out of bed. She grabs her boxers from off the floor and quickly pulls them on, “Anything else while I’m there?”

“N- No.”

Lexa pauses her search of a clean t-shirt when she hears the shake in the younger girl’s voice; she turns to see Clarke crying, “Baby, what’s wrong?” She asks, crouching down in front of her, “Why are you upset?”

“I don’t deserve you.” Clarke says, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “You’re just so good to me and I’m such a bitch you; you’re gonna leave me!”

“I would never.” Lexa says truthfully. “I’m yours, always.”

“I yell at you all the time.”

Lexa chuckles softly, “It doesn’t bother me, you know that.”

“I ruined your life!”

“You made it better.” Lexa says, intertwining their fingers; over the past month she’s gotten use to Clarke’s onset mood swings. “I have you.”

“Only because I’m having your baby!” Clarke cries. “You don’t want me! I’m a mess. I’m fat and disgusting and…”

“ _Clarke_.”

“What?” Clarke asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lexa’s heart breaks at the sound; she hates when Clarke talks like this even though she knows she doesn’t mean it, “Hey, look at me.”

“I don’t want to.”

Lexa lifts Clarke chin gently, green eyes meeting blue, “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out. You aren’t a mess or fat or disgusting, you’re _pregnant,_ baby and that means it’s okay to lose control sometimes, alright? If you’re upset and you want to take it out on someone, I’ll be that person and I promise you, it won’t bother me.”

“But…”

 “You didn’t ruin my life, Clarke, you made it so much better. A girl I’ve been in love with for longer than I can remember, who I never thought I’d ever have a chance with, happens to love me back. We’re about to have a baby together and yeah, our life might not be how we thought it would be but that doesn’t mean it’s ruined because it isn’t.”

“You really mean it?” Clarke asks.

“Of course I do.” Lexa says, pulling Clarke into her. “I won’t lie to you.”

“I’m sorry.” Clarke says, after a moment.

“For what?” Lexa asks, tucking a stray hair behind Clarke’s ear to get a better look at her face. “You didn’t do anything.”

“My emotions are all over the place.” Clarke says. “I’m sure it gets on your nerves; you can’t even go five minutes without something happening.”

“Stop apologizing.” Lexa says, standing back up. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Clarke says, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Good.” Lexa says, kissing her softly before standing back up. “I’m gonna go ahead and run to the store, are you sure you don’t want anything?”

“Can I come with you?” Clarke asks.

“You don’t have to ask.” Lexa says, tossing the hoodie in her hands at her girlfriend, “Bundle up, it’s pretty cold outside. I don’t want you sick.”

“Thank you.” Clarke says, pulling the hoodie on.

“Here.” Lexa says, kneeling back down in front of her; she slips a pair of shoes onto Clarke’s feet and jumps back up, “There, you’re all set.”

“Just because I wore a mismatched pair of shoes once doesn’t mean I’m going to do it every time; you don’t have to do it for me.” Clarke says.

“I know but it’s easier if I do it.” Lexa says, grabbing a jacket for herself. “Your stomach gets in the way and I know it bothers you.”

“I love you.” Clarke says, wrapping her arms around the taller girl.

Lexa holds her tightly, giving her a small squeeze, “I love you, too.”

“Come on.” Clarke says, releasing Lexa momentarily only to pull her out of the room and down the stairs instead, “Our baby is hungry.”

Lexa barely has time to grab her keys off the dresser before she’s stumbling after Clarke, “Is it really our baby that’s hungry or are you just using him as an excuse again?”

0o0o0

“Lexa Woods, is that you? Oh my God, it is!”

Lexa, who is on the way to the locker room after an intense game against their rivals, comes to a stop when she hears someone call her name. She turns around to greet whoever is yelling for her but before she has the chance too, she’s being pulled into a bone-crushing hug. She quickly pulls away, only to pause when she realizes who’s in front of her, “Costia.”

“You were wonderful out there!” Costia says with a megawatt smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you play, I forgot how amazing you were.”

“What- What are you doing here?” Lexa asks.

“I was in town and heard about the big game, I just _had_ to come by and see you, it seems like it’s been years.” Costia says, taking a step closer to Lexa. “Who knew it was possible for you to get more attractive.”

“That’s really nice of you but…”

“We should catch up.” Costia says, ignoring her. “I’m only in town for today; maybe we could go grab some coffee at that shop you love.”

“Actually I’ve got…”

“Oh, come on, Lexie!” Costia pleads; she knows Lexa hates that nickname but like always, she doesn’t really care. “Just two hours, tops.”

“I really can’t.” Lexa says, almost sighing in relief at being able to finish an actual sentence. “Have a safe…”

“You never say no to me.” Costia says, nudging Lexa playfully in the shoulder, “What’s different now, _Heda_?”

Lexa spots Clarke in the distance, laughing with Jasper and Monty; their eyes meet for a moment and Lexa gives her a small smile, “I have to go.”

Costia’s eyes narrow as she turns her eyes in the direction of Lexa; her eyes grow wide with excitement at what she sees, “Holy shit! Clarke Griffin is pregnant? I knew it was only a matter of time, what a slut.”

Lexa’s jaw clenches, “Excuse me?”

“Do you know the people she’s slept with?”

“I could care less.” Lexa says, trying to stay calm.

Before Costia can say anything else, Clarke makes her way over to them, the smile on her face falling slightly at seeing Lexa and Costia together, “I, uh, I wanted to see if you were ready to go but I see that you’re busy.”

“No, it’s fine.” Lexa says, “Ready when you are.”

“Really, catch up, don’t let me stop you.” Clarke says, looking anywhere but at the two girls in front of her. “I’ll get Jas to take me home.”

“Clarke…”

“It’s nice to see you, Costia.” Clarke says quietly before turning back into the direction that she came, hoping she’s able to find her friends.

“What was that about?” Costia asks.

“Clarke and I are together.” Lexa says, cutting to the chase. “She’s pregnant with my baby and I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t refer to her as anything but her name, got it? You don’t know her.”

“Do you really believe that it’s yours?” Costia asks.

“Yes, I do.” Lexa says, switching her soccer bag to the other side. “I’ve gotta get home but do have a safe trip back to wherever, okay?”

“Wait…”

Lexa waves haphazardly at her ex-girlfriend before heading in the direction of Clarke, who is about to get into Jasper’s truck, “Hold up!”

Clarke pauses, her hand still on the door, “What?”

Lexa looks at her in confusion, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Clarke says, unable to meet her eyes.

“I’ve gotta go change but it shouldn’t take more than a minute.” Lexa says, “Wait for me? We can go grab some dinner if you want.”

“I’m kind of tired, I just want to go home.”

“That’s okay too.” Lexa says, “I’ll order take out.”

“Jasper has waited enough, I’m not gonna waste any more of his time.”

“I.” Lexa asks. “Are you upset with me?”

“Why would I be?” Clarke asks, slipping into the passenger seat.

“Clarke, what I do?”

Clarke rolls down the window, “I’ll see you at home, Lexa.”

Lexa stares at Jasper’s retreating truck, unable to think of why Clarke is acting the way that she is; she knows that mood swings come and go but this just seems different. Deciding against going to the locker room, Lexa makes her way to her car and heads back in the direction of her house, only stopping for a moment to pick up dinner for herself and Clarke.

Nearly thirty minutes later she arrives home and makes her way inside; she drops everything off in the kitchen and heads upstairs, “Clarke, love, where are you? I got Chinese for dinner, you’re favorite.”

Clarke makes her way out of the bathroom, eyes widening slightly when she sees Lexa in front of her; she quickly wipes her eyes, “What?”

“Talk to me.” Lexa says, ignoring the bite in her girlfriend’s tone. “One minute you were happy to see me and then the next it’s like you’re doing everything in your power to avoid me. What did I do?”

“Did you fuck her?” Clarke asks, her voice harsh.

Lexa looks at her, taken aback, “Did I what?”

“Costia, did you fuck her before you came home?” Clarke asks. “I saw the way she was looking at you; how close she was to you. You didn’t seem like you cared though, it looked like you enjoyed it.”

“You can’t be serious.” Lexa shakes her head in disbelief; Clarke is jealous, that’s what this is about. “I haven’t seen Costia in years, Clarke.”

“I know that!” Clarke says angrily. “At least, that’s what you tell me.”

“Are you implying that I’ve been cheating on you.” Lexa asks, a little hurt that the blonde would think so lowly of her.

Clarke frowns; she didn’t mean for it to come out like that, “No, that’s not…”

“I’ve been nothing but loyal to you.” Lexa says, gritting her teeth. “From the moment we started our arrangement until now, it’s always been you! I don’t give a shit about Costia, Clarke, she’s a part of my past that I’d like to forget because that’s how little I care about her. _You_ are all that matters to me and the fact that you think so little of me to assume I would ever cheat on you really fucking hurts!”

“Lexa, I didn’t…”

“You don’t have to jump to conclusions or accuse me of things just because you’re jealous of someone.” Lexa says, “It’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry.” Clarke says, tearing up again. “I know you would never cheat on me. I just saw you with her and I remembered how in love with her you used to be; how she broke your heart. I shouldn’t have gotten upset.”

“I love you.” Lexa says, relaxing a bit. “Nothing and no one compares to you, sweetheart, you have to know that. I don’t care how upset you get with me but please, don’t ever think I would be stupid enough to cheat on you.”

“Will you forgive me for being a jealous asshole?” Clarke asks.

Lexa pretends to ponder on it but nods shortly after, “I guess but only if you’ll agree to go on a date with me.”

Clarke can’t help the giggle that slips past her lips, “Lex, we’re already dating.

“So, that doesn’t mean we can’t go on a dates.” Lexa says, pulling her girlfriend into her, “Come on, what do you say?”

“If I say yes will that make you any less of a loser?”

0o0o0

“Um, Clarke?”

“What?” Clarke asks, making her way into the nursery, a hand place firmly on her stomach.

“Why are there like a two-hundred maps with every possible direction to the hospital in here?” Octavia asks, looking towards her best friend in awe.

“Lexa might’ve gone a little overboard.” Clarke says, smiling softly at the thought of her extremely worried and overly prepared girlfriend.”

“You think?” Raven laughs. “Seriously, she’s a bit ridiculous.”

“It’s cute.” Clarke says, sitting down on the rocking chair. “She wants to make sure she’s able to get to me as soon as possible if by chance she’s not with me when I go into labor.”

“She has six different routes from the grocery store to the hospital, with times, traffic and everything.” Octavia points out. “That’s just precious.”

“She has them throughout the house too.” Clarke says, “I don’t know how you guys have missed them, they’ve been there for weeks. She’ll even have me call her sometimes when she’s at certain places so she can run the trip herself; she’s gotten like three tickets.”

“Lexa does realize you’re not due for like another month, right?”

“Well in her defense, it could happen at any time.” Clarke says, “From this moment on it’s basically the baby’s decision on when he’s ready.”

“Don’t forget to call us!” Octavia says, “I can’t miss his birth!”

“You’re aware you won’t be in the room, right?”

“Obviously, Clarke.” Octavia rolls her eyes, “I love you but I don’t love you that much; you know what I meant anyways.”

“You excited?” Raven asks, finally joining back in the conversation.

“Also scared and nervous but yes, mostly excited.” Clarke says, “I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever but then again it seems like it’s only been days.”

“I have not once heard a pregnant woman who is about to have a baby say they aren’t ready to just have the kid already.” Raven says. “You’re lucky.”

Clarke shrugs, “I miss my sleep and being able to shower myself but Lexa’s been taking such good care of me so it’s been really easy.”

“What’s been really easy?” Lexa asks, making her way into the room; she sits down on the floor beside Clarke.

“Nothing, I’m just telling them about how sweet you are to me.”

 _“Clarke_.” Lexa whines, embarrassed. “You’re gonna ruin my reputation.”

“Oh, believe me, we know you’re a tiny gay mouse.” Raven snickers next to Octavia, “You look terrifying but you’re really not.”

“See what you’ve done!” Lexa says, exasperated. “Thanks a lot.”

Clarke leans down to kiss her cheek, “I’m sorry, baby.”

“You should be.” Lexa says, “You’ve turned me into a softy.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Clarke says, “Did you order dinner?”

“Of course.” Lexa says, resting her head on Clarke’s knee. “I don’t have a death wish.”

“I’m not that bad!” Clarke says, trying to defend herself.

“You didn’t talk to me for two days because I refused to take you to get pizza for the third time in a week.” Octavia says, “So yes, you _are_ that bad.”

“You also cried when I wouldn’t let you have the rest of my fries.” Raven says, giving the girl a look. “You were an absolute mess.”

“Blame my son, not me.” Clarke says, “You aren’t playing fair.”

“We don’t mean any harm, Griff.” Raven says, “Just being honest.”

Clarke gives her a look, “Mean is more like it, asshole.”

0o0o0

“L- Lexa!”

Lexa, who is busy running drills with the team, comes to an immediate halt as she turns to the voice, “What is it, Tris?”

“Abby Griffin is on the phone.” Tris says, her voice shaky as she makes her way over to her soccer captain. She had been given the job to stay by the older girl’s phone during practices just in case anything was to happen with Clarke while she was busy; it was clear the job was full of pressure.

“Give it to me!” Lexa orders as she rips the phone from the girl’s hand, putting it to her ear, “Abby, hello? What’s going on? Is Clarke okay?”

“ _Jake and I are on our way to pick her up_.” Abby says, her voice calm yet full of excitement, “I think it’s time, sweetie.”

“Really?” Lexa nearly squeaks, ignoring the strange looks she’s getting from her teammates, “Not another false alarm?”

“ _Not this time_.” Abby says, “ _We just got here; you’ll meet us there_?”

“Of course.” Lexa says, matter of fact. “Overnight bags are right by the door; you can’t miss them. I’ve got a map on the dresser with the fastest routes, you can take it with you. I’ll- I’ll be there soon.”

“ _Lexa?_ ”

“Yes?”

“ _Relax, it’s still gonna be a while.”_ Abby says, with a small laugh. “ _Just drive safely, okay? I’ll have them send you right to us when you arrive.”_

Lexa takes a deep breath, trying to listen to her girlfriend’s mother, “Okay. Tell Clarke that I love her, please.”

_“See you soon.”_

Lexa ends the calls and takes off in the direction of her things; she quickly grabs her soccer bag and pulls out her keys. “Practice is over.”

“What’s happened?” Octavia asks, skipping over to the brunette.

“You look like you’re gonna pass out.” Anya adds. “So, what’s up?”

“Clarke’s in labor.” Lexa says, still in disbelief that the moment they’ve been waiting for is finally here. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

“Holy shit!” Octavia nearly yells, “We have to go!”

“What do you mean by ‘we’, Blake?” Lexa asks.

“Don’t be an idiot, you know we’re gonna be there.” Octavia says, “I mean, I am the Godmother after all; I just have to be one of the first faces he sees.”

“Okay, fine.” Lexa says, waving her off. “I don’t care. Come on.”

“I’ll drive.” Anya says, snatching Lexa’s keys from her hands. “No, don’t give me that look, you’re a fucking wreck; your hands are shaking.”

“ _Anya_.”

“You really gonna argue with me about who’s gonna drive or are you gonna shut the hell up and go be with your girlfriend?” Anya asks.

“Fine.” Lexa huffs, making her way to the parking lot, obviously in a hurry. “You better not kill us on the way there.”

“I would never, Lexie.” Anya says, sliding into the driver’s seat.

Ten minutes and a near death experience later, Anya is pulling up to the hospital’s entrance and Lexa is shooting out of the car, barely giving her cousin time come to a full stop. She heads inside and in the direction of the maternity ward, thanks to the receptionist at the front; she makes her way through a set of double doors and sighs when she spots Jake speaking with a nurse in pink scrubs.

“Jake!” Lexa practically yells, a look of relief on her face.

“Lexa, hey.” Jake says, excusing himself from the nurse before making his way over to her. “Clarke is just getting checked in; Abby’s with her.”

“What room?” Lexa asks, clearly anxious.

“23; right there.” Jake says, pointing to a room across from them.

“Alright.” Lexa says and suddenly it feels like her feet are stuck to the floor.

“You okay?” Jake asks, looking the girl over.

“I. This is it, isn’t it?” Lexa says, wringing her fingers nervously.

“It’s scary to think about.” Jake says, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder; he knows exactly how she feels. “You think you’re prepared for it up until this moment and then you think of all the possibilities. Believe me, Abby and I planned for Clarke and when it was time for her to arrive, we could hardly tell our left from our right.”

“Really?” Lexa asks, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Oh yes.” Jake says, leading them both towards the room. “Your entire life is about to change and it’s only natural to feel the things you do but I promise you, everything will be how it’s supposed to be.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says, hand on the doorknob.

“ _Go.”_ Jake orders. “You’ll be fine.”

Lexa gives him a quick hug and after taking a deep breath to calm herself, she steps into the room and shuts the door behind her. She frowns when she spots Clarke tossing and turning, clearly uncomfortable and in pain; her girlfriend hasn’t even realized she’s arrived. “Sweetheart?”

Clarke’s movements stop at the sound of her voice and she looks up, her blue eyes full of tears, “You’re here.”

“I’ll be outside.” Abby says, voice barely above a whisper; she presses a kiss to Clarke’s cheek then leaves the room.

“How are you?” Lexa asks, sitting down in the seat Aby previously occupied; she grabs for the blonde’s hand and interlaces their fingers together, “What can I do?”

“Nothing.” Clarke says, groaning in discomfort. “How was practice?”

Lexa laughs softly, shaking her head in disbelief, “Really?”

“It’s a distraction.” Clarke tells her.

Lexa leans over and kisses her softly, “It was fine but I missed you.”

“Mom said when she called some girl answered the phone, she said she sounded like she was terrified.” Clarke says, “What’d you do?”

“I didn’t want to miss a call so I got one of the freshman to sit on the bench and keep an eye out for my phone.” Lexa says sheepishly.

“That’s adorable.” Clarke says, “Did you drive here?”

“No, Anya.” Lexa pouts, “She wouldn’t let me.”

“I’m glad she didn’t.” Clarke says, “Your hands are shaking.”

“I’m excited.” Lexa says. “Mostly nervous.”

“You still wanna…” Clarke pauses and her body tenses; she squeezes Lexa’s hand with much more force than either of them thought possible. Almost a minute later she opens her eyes and relaxes, “Contraction.”

“Does it hurt?” Lexa asks.

“A little, yeah.” Clarke says, “They’re getting worse.”

Lexa pushes some hair from her girlfriend’s face, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Clarke says, a soft smile on her face. “I’ll try to avoid breaking bones and telling you I hate you.”

“Either is fine with me.” Lexa says, honestly. “Your pain is my pain. You’re about to bring our son into this world, do what you must.”

“I’m scared.” Clarke admits, unable to meet Lexa’s eyes.

“So am I.” Lexa says, “We’re gonna have another human to take care of.”

“What if I’m not good at this?” Clarke asks, the fears she’s kept to herself for the past few months finally coming to light, “I’m a mess sometimes.”

“No, you aren’t.” Lexa assures. “You’re perfect, Clarke.”

“You’re gonna be the favorite.” Clarke says, matter of fact. “I know it.”

“I highly doubt that.” Lexa says, moving from the chair to the bed, pulling the younger girl into her gently, “Have you met you?”

Clarke rests her head on her shoulder, “We’re having a baby.”

“Yeah, love, we are.”

0o0o0

“You were wonderful, Clarke.” Lexa says, adjusting the small bundle in her arms as she looks down at her exhausted girlfriend. “I’m so happy.”

They’d been in the hospital for nearly 32 hours and after an intense night of labor, their little boy finally made his way into the world just as the sun started to come up. Lexa was without a broken bone and to say that Clarke had amazed her, was an understatement; the blonde handled everything with such grace and dignity, Lexa fell a little bit more in love with her.

“Still ten fingers and ten toes?” Clarke asks, her voice low as to not wake the sleeping baby in the soccer captain’s arms.

“All accounted for.” Lexa says, leaning down to kiss her again and again. “Can you believe it, you brought life into this world?”

“ _We_ brought life into the world.” Clarke corrects. She reaches her left hand up and runs the pads of her fingers across her newborn’s sons’ face, still unable to comprehend the fact that they actually have a baby.

“You did the impossible stuff.” Lexa says, looking down at the little boy; he was literally a perfect mixture between the two of them.

“Only because you were with me.” Clarke says, “We should probably let everyone see him; they’ve been waiting for hours.”

“Do you want to hold him?” Lexa asks.

“I’ve spent nine months carrying him.” Clarke says, “It’s only fair for you to have your turn; have as much time with him as you want, Lex.”

“You sure?” Lexa asks, glancing down at his son, “He’s so beautiful.”

“He has your eyes.” Clarke says as she reaches for her phone on the bedside table to text her mother to bring everyone in. “Your nose.”

“I’m so happy he has your hair.” Lexa admits. “God, he’s perfect.”

“Isn’t he?” Clarke sighs happily. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Lexa says, “More than words can ever describe.”

Clarke goes to argue but is interrupted by the door to their room opening. One by one the room starts to fill up with all of their family and friends, all of which have more gifts than necessary, “Did you guys by the whole shop?”

“Almost.” Octavia says, setting the things she bought on the window ledge, “We unfortunately ran out of money.”

“You didn’t have to do all of that.” Lexa says, standing up; she makes her way over to Jake and Abby but focuses her attention on everyone in the room. She sends a smile to Clarke, “We would like to introduce you to Elijah Gabriel Woods, born at 6:53AM this morning. Nine pounds, eight ounces. He is perfectly healthy and yes, he has all of his fingers and toes, Raven.” 


	3. Everything's Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freshman year of college, Elijah's nine months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I disappeared and I apologize, I just lost inspiration for a bit but I'm back, I hope, for good.

Lexa makes her way up the stairs to the third floor of her apartment complex, completely exhausted as she drags her soccer bag behind her, her muscles aching with every step she takes. Between mid-terms and having two practices a day for the upcoming season, she’s ready to just crawl into an ice bath and relax for the rest of the evening with Clarke and their son.

With a sigh of relief, she pushes open their front door and steps inside, only to drop everything in her hands as she takes in the sight before her. “What in the hell?”

Clarke is sitting at the easel in the corner of the living room, staring at a blank canvas while their nine-month old son Elijah sits on the floor next to her, covered in paint. The walls, the carpet, even the couch is in similar wear to their infant. “He refused to take a nap today and has been a holy freaking terror since you left this morning.” She says, her voice cracking slightly as she turns to look at her girlfriend. “I tried to call but you didn’t answer.”

“I know and I’m sorry.” Lexa said, making her way over to the blonde and kissing her temple. “My phone died and I didn’t have any way to charge it. I’m assuming the little guy is feeling a lot better, then?”

Clarke nods and leans into her, “I have to finish this by Monday and I don’t think I’ll have time. I’ve already missed two mid-terms this week because he’s been sick and I’m going to fail this class if I don’t turn this in on time, it’s more than half of my grade.”

Lexa frowns, feelings guilty; she knows she really couldn’t have been much help anyways because she has to take her mid-terms and go to practices to stay in school but she still feels like an asshole. “I’ll give him a bath tonight and fix dinner and you work on this okay? Then for the rest of the weekend Eli and I will stay out of your way, okay? It’ll be my turn.”

“Okay.” Clarke says, looking down at their son. “Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

Lexa leans down and picks up the sticky little boy, holding him tightly to her chest, “I guess someone’s feeling better, aren’t they?” She asks, pressing kisses to his face. “Come on, let’s go fix mommy some dinner.”

Nearly an hour later, Lexa makes her way over to Clarke, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her into her body, “Dinner’s ready, come join?”

Clarke glances at her painting, a little more relaxed now that she has something on her canvas and nods, “Okay.” She says, putting her paintbrush down and standing up.

“I made your favorite.” Lexa said, pulling Clarke’s chair out for her; she sets a plate down in front of the blonde and smiles triumphantly. “I didn’t burn it this time.”

“Thank you.” Clarke says, reaching up to give her girlfriend a kiss.

Lexa places a few puffs onto Eli’s high chair surface as she sits down, ready to eat herself. They talk about their day, upcoming plans for the holiday’s and laugh at how their son makes the biggest messes possible. Once everyone is finished, Lexa kicks Clarke back out of the kitchen to finish working on her painting and she resumes the role of dealing with their son.

“Bath time.” Lexa says, wiping Elijah’s face off before unhooking him from the high chair and picking him up. She makes her way down the hallway and into the bathroom, sitting the little boy on the floor as she starts the water, wanting to make sure the temperature is good enough. “Alright,” She rids him of his dirty clothes and sets him in the warm water. “Let’s get this over with, I know it’s your least favorite thing to do.”

0o0o0

“I know, I know.” Lexa says, running the towel over Elijah’s face a little while later. He sputters as the tears continue to fall down his chubby cheeks. “See, I told you it wasn’t the end of the world.”

Lexa lotions him, changes his diaper, helps him into his onesie and brushes his hair before releasing him to play a little bit before bedtime. She watches the blonde haired little boy crawl out of his bedroom and in the direction of the living room before picking up the dirty clothes from the day and taking them to their laundry room.

“Elijah, no!” Clarke cries out from down the hall. “Don’t touch that!”

There’s a loud crash from down the hall and after slamming the washing machine shut, Lexa takes off down the hall to where her little family is. She wants to laugh because the scene in front of her is actually really funny but it quickly fades when she sees the tears in Clarke’s eyes and she knows that her girlfriend is on the verge of a breakdown.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said, swiftly picking Elijah up from under the easel; the infant had started messing with Clarke’s things and he’d ended up dropping two pints of paint onto his mother. “I was trying to start some laundry for you.”

“I give up.” Clarke says, refusing to look at Lexa. “Can you go get me a towel, please?”

Lexa nods and sets Elijah in his play pen before doing what she asks, grabbing several older towels and a change of clothes for Clarke, “I thought he would be okay, it was my fault…”

“It’s fine, Lexa.” Clarke says, pulling her t-shirt off; they’re apartment was already ruined and she was too exhausted and irritated to care at the moment so she just tossed it on the ground. She changed into her clean clothes. “Let’s go put him to bed.”

“I can do it.” Lexa said, picking up the dirty clothes and tossing them in the trash can. “Go back to your painting, I’ll keep a better eye on him.”

“Just forget it.” Clarke said, wiping roughly at her eyes. “He likes when we both read him a bed time story anyways. I just need to except the fact that I’m gonna fail.”

Lexa goes to say something but decides against it, she’ll talk to her once the little boy is in bed for the night. They make their way to his bedroom and settle him in before reading him a bedtime story. Clarke gives him a bottle and he’s out within minutes, the events of the day having worn him out.

“I’m sorry I’ve been busy.” Lexa says, shifting from foot to foot as Clarke pulls the covers down on their bed. They’re both exhausted and ready to sleep themselves even though it’s barely nine at night. “We’re partners in this and I shouldn’t treat my things as more important.”

“You have to go to practices or you’ll be kicked off the team and your exams are a lot harder then mine, it’s okay.” Clarke says, throwing her hair up into a bun. “I’ll just try again tomorrow.”

“I know that but it doesn’t mean mine are still important, he’s our son, not just yours and you shouldn’t be the one to deal with him every time our sitter calls out sick.” Lexa said. “I’m gonna do better, I promise. Art is your career, soccer isn’t mine.”

“He’s just been so hard to deal with.” Clarke said, sniffling. “It’s like he only listens to you anymore and it’s driving me insane. He’s been sick all week and I think I’m getting what he’s had and I’m just really stressed out. I really thought I could be a mom and go to school but I don’t think I can, I don’t do well with pressure.”

Lexa stripped down to her boxers and tank top before crawling into bed; she grabbed Clarke and pulled her into her. “Look, you’re the smartest person I know, okay? Without you, I’d be a god damn mess and I wouldn’t even be where I am today with you. I know you think that you’re just meant to be a failure but that’s the farthest thing from the truth. You’re the glue that keeps this little family together and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. You put Eli and I first all the time without a second thought and that’s one of the reasons I love you so much. It’s me who’s been an asshole and put you under all this pressure because I’ve been gone a lot but I swear that’s going to change. We’re gonna find a better sitter and a back up one just in case and I’ll adjust my classes for next semester so I’m here more and your gone more.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know but I want to.” Lexa said. “I’ve had it easier this semester than you and it should be equal on both ends. Elijah is a baby and he’s in to everything and I should’ve thought more about what you needed then myself.”

“I love you.” Clarke said, curling into her. “Thanks for always being there for me.”

“I love you, too, Clarke.” Lexa said, kissing her cheek. “I know you’ve had a shitty week and that today was even worse but I’m sorry, it was really funny when Eli knocked all of that paint on you, I almost died. Only our child.”

“It wasn’t funny.” Clarke said, glaring up at her.

“Yes it was.” Lexa argued. “Oh, come on, you have to admit that it was. Like, he literally just got out of a bath and the first thing he did was try to get all messy again.”

“You’re gonna come crying to me tomorrow, just wait.” Clarke said, pulling the blankets back over them as she yawned. “You’ll only be his favorite for so long.”

“You do know he cries to you when he’s sick right? I’m pretty sure that classifies you as the favorite.” Lexa told her.

“Or I gave birth to him and he knows I’ve got that nurturing side.” Clarke smirked at the brunette. “Unlike someone. You’re just waiting for him to be able to walk so you can teach him how to play sports and be a boy.”

“That… yeah, that’s definitely true.” Lexa said, taking off her glasses and setting them on the nightstand. “Are you sure you’re aren’t upset with me?”

“For the last time, I’m not upset with you.” Clarke said honestly. “I’ve just been stressed this week and I took it out on you, so I’m sorry for that.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Lexa said. “You should always tell me how you feel even if you think it’ll upset or anger me, you should never keep it inside. Just think of how much sooner we could’ve gotten together if you hadn’t kept all your feelings to yourself.”

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

Lexa shook her head, “Not in this life time, no. You lied about sleeping with the guys because you were that terrified of admitting your feelings towards me. That’s like one step closer to psycho, babe.”

Clarke slapped her chest, “I’m sorry that the most popular girl in our fucking school intimidated me and I was scared of ruining your life. I was thinking of you.”

“Were you?” Lexa asked, an eyebrow raised in question. “Were you really?”

“Okay, so maybe I was just scared shitless that you would hate me and never want to talk to me again.” Clarke said quickly. “I didn’t want that to happen, I love your dick too much.”

Lexa gasped, a playfully look in her eyes, “Oh, so you only told me because the thought of me never fucking you again terrified you?”

“You also make me feel like a princess and I thought if I told you the truth you’d think I was just another one of those girls that wants you for your money and you would tell me to fuck off.” Clarke said. “And you kinda came off as an asshole.”

“I had my reasons.” Lexa said, rolling onto Clarke and wrapping her arms around her. “You were just smart enough to see that it was all an act though and that I was actually a super nice person.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Clarke said. “Or, again, it could’ve been the fact that I was pregnant with your child and had to find out a way to like you.”

“Rude!” Lexa said, poking her sides. “Take it back.”

Clarke laughed loudly as she tried to squirm out from under Lexa, “No, never!”

Lexa continued her attack, laughing along with her girlfriend. “Yes!”

“Okay! Okay!” Clarke said, breathlessly. “I love you for you, our son is just a bonus!”

“Much better.” Lexa said, stopping immediately and kissing Clarke. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Clarke grabbed a pillow and hit her in the face, causing Lexa to fall off the bed. “Ha, you deserved that!”

Lexa jumped up and climbed onto the bed, grabbing Clarke’s ankles and pulling her towards her, “Oh, it’s so on, Griff. I’m about to show you why you fell in love with me in the first place.”

 


	4. The Finer Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elijah's first birthday.

“Lex, he’s only going to be a year old.” Clarke say, looking into their cart as they make their way throughout the toy store. “Eli doesn’t need all of this.”

“Giant building blocks, Clarke.” Lexa says, motioning to the biggest box in the buggy. “He’s going to love it! Come on, it’s his first birthday, he deserves the best stuff.”

Clarke rolls her eyes as she continues to sift through the random toys Lexa has picked out on their shopping trip. “His room is already full with things he doesn’t even play with; maybe we should wait to get him some of this stuff for when he’s older so he can actually be excited about all of this.”

Lexa frowns, “I’m going a little overboard, aren’t I?”

Clarke nods, a smile playing at her lips, “Maybe just a little?”

Lexa sighs and starts emptying out the cart, “Okay, I guess you’re right.”

Clarke reaches up to kiss her cheek, “It’s cute how much you try to spoil our child, I’m afraid if I wasn’t around you’d have already bought him his own little mansion.”

“Probably.” Lexa says, giving her a kiss. “Kid has me wrapped around his finger.”

Clarke nods in agreement and starts unloading the items in the cart onto the conveyer belt. “You’ve been wrapped around his finger since you found out I was pregnant with him, let’s be real.”

0o0o0

“Oh my God.” Clarke says, her jaw dropping as she makes her way into her parent’s backyard that following weekend, her girlfriend right behind her. “Why did I ever agree to let you plan our son’s birthday party? Lexa, this is ridiculous.

The Griffin backyard is full of every type of activity a person would expect at a little kid’s birthday party. There’s a petting zoo with an overflow of animals, a bouncy house with a slide attached to it, a terrifying looking clown that Clarke would much rather throw off a building, a miniature train that goes around a circular track around and a table full of food from the best catering company in Arkadia for the adults.

“Too much?” Lexa asks, looking at the blonde.

“A little, yeah.” Clarke says, still amazed at the thought that Lexa has thrown all of this together without help from anyone, knowing Clarke has been busy with her artwork.

“Raven begged me to get the train and I only agreed so she would shut up.” Lexa says, making her way over to each activity to make sure they’re all set up properly. “Knowing your delinquent friends, I’m betting their going to be extremely happy with the set up.”

“Elijah isn’t gonna know what to do with himself.” Jake says, making his way out onto the patio to stand next to his daughter. He watches Lexa walk around his yard, inspecting everything, “You picked a good one, you know.”

Clarke glances at her father, “What?”

“Lexa, she’s everything your mother and I ever wanted for you.” Jake admits. “You’re the happiest we’ve ever seen you since you’ve been with her. I know that when I leave this world one day many, _many_ years from now that you’ll be well taken care of.”

Clarke smiles and leans against him, happy to be back with her parents for at least the weekend. “I can’t believe it’s been a year since Eli was born.”

“Time flies, doesn’t it?” Abby says, joining in the conversation. “I still remember the day you were born; it feels like yesterday.”

Lexa makes her way back over to her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her waist; she nuzzles her face into Clarke’s neck. “Linc and Octavia on their way with Eli?”

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist and runs her fingers through dark hair, “Last time I checked, yeah; they should be here soon.”

“Party time, bitches!” Raven yells, making her way through the back doors, Anya right behind her with several wrapped presents. “Where’s the little birthday boy?”

“With his Godparents.” Lexa smirks, taking the presents from Raven and setting them down on the table closest to the food; she loved reminding the shorter girl that she wasn’t their son’s Godmother. “They’re on their way though.”

Raven flips her off, “I hate you, you know that right?”

“You tell me every day.” Lexa says, moving to wrap her arms around Clarke and rest her chin on her shoulder.

Anya makes a disgusted face at her cousin, “You two are always so touchy, it’s gross. I’m surprised there isn’t another one on the way already.”

“Well actually…” Clarke starts a smile on her face.

Lexa’s eyes widen as she turns to look at her girlfriend, “What?” She asks, her voice an octave higher than usual. “I… what.”

“I’m only kidding.” Clarke laughs, watching as her parents sigh in relief. “Believe me, we’re extremely careful; I’ll be lucky if we ever have another baby again.”

“We will.” Lexa says, matter of fact. “In like twenty years.”

“So, when I’m almost forty?” Clarke playfully rolls her eyes, “Yeah, not gonna happen, more like five or six years, maybe.”

“Just focus on Eli for now.” Jake says, “I think that’s the best option.”

“Agreed.” Lexa says, smiling when she sees her brother come through the gate into the backyard; they hadn’t seen each other in months. Her smile falters when she gets a closer look at him, “The mother fucker is finally taller than me, it actually happened.”

“Yeah, it happened like six months ago.” Aden said, his voice deeper to as he hugs his older sister and then Clarke. “You’d know that if you skyped me every once in a while.”

“I’m busy with a needy girlfriend and a hyper active toddler.” Lexa says, “What’s your excuse?”

“You act like we live across the country when in reality we only live an hour away.” Clarke said, rolling her eyes at her significant other. “God, I can’t wait to see Eli in his birthday onesie, he’s going to be so cute.”

“He better be,” Abby huffs in faux irritation at the memory of her most previous shopping trip with her daughter. “You dragged me around the mall for an entire afternoon searching for the perfect outfit. I wanted to kill you.”

“Yeah but even you think it was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.” Clarke said, sticking her tongue out at her mother. “Don’t act like you didn’t have fun.”

“Hope we aren’t late.” Monty says, a small present in his hands as he makes himself known to his group of friends; Harper, Jasper, Maya and Miller right behind him. “I ordered Elijah a gift and it didn’t show up in time so we had to a make a pit stop.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Clarke says, taking the present and handing it to Lexa to put with the rest of the gifts. “Your just in time, Eli isn’t here yet.”

“Dude! Look at the train!” Jasper says, jumping with excitement when he spots the multi-colored ride. “Can we ride it?”

“Just don’t break it.” Lexa says, glaring at Raven knowingly.

“Me? Break it? Never.” Raven says, taking off with Jasper to go explore the ride.

“Birthday boy is here!” Lincoln and Octavia say simultaneously as they make their way through the gate and into the backyard, Elijah planted firmly on Lincoln’s shoulders.

“Aw, Lex, look at him!” Clarke coos, her eyes filling with tears as she looks at their now one-year-old toddler in his birthday outfit. “Hi baby.”

Lincoln hands Elijah to Clarke before heading over to the rest of their group with Octavia. Lexa excuses herself from a conversation with Harper and walks over to Clarke and Eli, a smile on her face as she takes a look at his outfit. “You got his custom made, didn’t you?” She asks, her fingers running through his blonde curls.

“Maybe.” Clarke says, fixing Eli’s bright blue hat. “Did you have fun with Uncle Linc and Aunty O?”

Eli babbles incoherently, his eyes wide with wonder as he looks around the backyard, all the sounds, colors and gadgets blowing his little mind. He squeals and kicks his feet in excitement when Jasper and Raven fly by him on the train, waving at him as they go.

“Someone’s happy.” Lexa states, matter of fact as she watches him take everything in.

“Come on, let’s go see everyone; they’ve missed you.”

0o0o0

Lexa tosses the last of the wrapping paper into a trash bag and throws it into the bin just outside the fence before making her way back to the backyard. “That’s the last of it.” She says, sitting down next to Clarke at the picnic table.

Clarke has a sleeping Elijah against her chest, clearly exhausted from the days’ events. It’s been a few hours since the party has ended but everyone is still there, catching up on the things they’ve missed considering it’s been a few months since they’ve all been together. “We should throw a party every night if it means he’s going to go right to sleep.”

Lexa smiles and adjusts Elijah’s onesie, “I can’t believe it’s been a year since he came into our lives, it still blows my mind.”

“I know.” Clarke agrees, looking at Lexa. “Thank you for today.”

“You’ve been doing so much lately; it was the least I could do.” Lexa says, “I’m just happy the little guy had so much fun; he didn’t really know what to do with himself.”

“We made one hell of a kid, didn’t we?”

“And to think you weren't going to tell me.” Lexa says, a smirk playing on her lips as she leans over to kiss Clarke. “I love you.”

Clarke kisses her several more times; sighing in content. “I love you more, ass.”

“Hey, I was just stating a fact.” Lexa says as they both stand up; she takes Elijah from Clarke and holds him against her chest. “Let’s put him down and go on a date.”

“Okay.” Clarke says. “Where to?”

“You pick.” Lexa says, quietly making her way up the stairs. “Today’s your day too. Without you, we wouldn’t be here right now. You gave our son life.”

Clarke’s stomach flips at the comment, “You’re a sap, you know that?”

“Only with you.” Lexa says, laying the sleeping toddler in his pack-n-play. She interlaces her fingers with Clarke and leads her into the guest room. “I’m going to celebrate you just as I did with him, every year, for the rest of our lives because you deserve it. You’re the glue that holds this crazy ass family together.”

“Have I told you I love you?” Clarke asks, arms wrapping around Lexa’s neck.

“Maybe once or twice but I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.” Lexa says, her forehead coming to rest on Clarke’s.

“Well, in that case.” Clarke starts, “I love you, so much.”

“I love you, too.” Lexa says, kissing her once, twice, three times. “More than anything else in this world. Thank you for giving me my son, Clarke. It’s the greatest gift anyone could ever give me.”


	5. Say You Won't Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be real, I suck. I don't want to leave you wonderful people hanging any longer so I'm gonna wrap this up in one chapter and throw a little Halloween in there. Thank you for everything, you guys are the best. Much love.

"Okay, you understand what you're supposed to do, right?" Lexa asks her three year old son as they sit on the couch discussing the events of what's to come. They'd been sitting here for a little over an hour going over the plan.

"I know it, momma." Elijah promises, giving her a huge smile.

Lexa nods, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Go pick up your toys, mommy will be home soon."

"Okay." Elijah says, slipping off the couch and taking off towards his bedroom to do what his mother asked of him.

Lexa smiles as she watches his go, his chubby legs bouncing happily against the apartment carpet as he goes. Knowing Clarke will be home soon from her part time job at the art gallery downtown, Lexa gets up to clean up the rest of the house so it'll be perfect by the time her girlfriend gets home. It's been almost three years in this apartment and everything about it reminds her of the life the three of them have built together and she knows the day they have to leave this place will be one of the saddest days of their lives. This place holds a lot of firsts for them.

"I all done!" Elijah yells a few minutes later, slipping into the kitchen with his blanket tucked under his arm. "I pick up all my toys, even my bear!"

"Good job." Lexa says, giving him a high five. Once she puts the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher, she turns to look at him. "What do you say we go get ready? We can't be late for our reservations."

Elijah nods and grabs her head, pulling his mother out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. "I try to do it but I can't."

"That's okay." Lexa says, lifting him up and sitting him on the dresser before going to grab his outfit from his closet. She makes her way back over to the little boy and helps him out of his pajamas and and into his clothes for the evening. Clarke was going to melt when she saw him.

Elijah stands up (with the help of Lexa's shoulders) and waits patiently as the brunette does his hair just the way his other mother likes. When Lexa is finished he turns to look in his little mirror and giggles, "Thank you!"

"Anything for you, buddy." Lexa said, running a hand through his hair one final time to make sure it's perfect. She adjusts his button up and helps him back down on the ground. "Come on, you can watch Mickey while I get ready."

"Yay!" Elijah squeals, taking off in the direction of his mothers' bedroom and climbing onto the unmade bed, already grabbing for the remote. Having been taught how to turn it on he presses the bright red button and claps when his show is already playing for him. "Come 'side, it fun 'side!"

Lexa starts to get ready, pulling on a pair of slacks, listening to her son sing the familiar theme song of his favorite show as she does. By the time she's buttoned up the last button on her shirt and slipped a tie on, she hears the front door open and Clarke's voice ring throughout the apartment-

"Mommy!" Elijah screams, his show long forgotten as he scrambles off the bed and takes down the hallway, tackling Clarke before she even has time to put her purse down on the counter. "I misses you."

Clarke bends down and picks him up, snuggling to her chest as she kisses his temple. "I missed you too, my sweet boy." She leans back to get a better look at him and her eyes narrow, "Why are you all dressed up?"

"We have a date." Lexa walks into the room, finishing the last knot of her tie. She kisses Clarke softly, "How was work?"

"Dante wants me to paint a piece for the gala next weekend." Clarke says, blue eyes shining bright with excitement. "He saw my stuff at the senior showcase last weekend and wants me to add something. Can you believe it?"

"I'm glad someone else finally saw how wonderful you are at what you do." Lexa said, squeezing Clarke's hip gently. "Go get dressed, we have reservations at 7. Elijah chose that navy dress you look good in, so you can't wear anything else." Clarke looks between the two of them, noticing the way that both of them were biting their lip; it was something they did when they were guilty or hiding something, "What did you two do? Please tell me you didn't flood the bathroom again, our landlord already hates us because of the last time."

"We not flood it, mommy. Go get ready, please!" Elijah said, wiggling to free himself from her.

Clarke set him back down, "Okay, I'll be back in a minute." She excuses herself to go get ready, knowing deep down they're hiding something.

Lexa is playing cards with Elijah at the coffee table when Clarke makes her way back into the living room nearly twenty minutes later; her mouth goes dry as she takes in the beauty that is her girlfriend. Several months ago Clarke had decided to cut her hair short; at first it was hard for Lexa to get used but she quickly learned to love it. "You... God, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." She breathes out as she stands up, the game of Go-Fish long forgotten.

Clarke blushes at the comment and shyly mumbles a thank you as she wraps her arms around Lexa's slim waist. Even after three years of being together Lexa still makes Clarke feel like she was the most important thing in the world (and to Lexa, she is). "Ready?"

Lexa nods, kissing her once more. "Wanna walk? It's just down the street."

"If you're about to take me to Lime Street I might not be able to make it to tonight." Clarke whispers in Lexa's ear as she discreetly palms Lexa through her slacks. Lime Street Steak House was Clarke's absolute favorite place in the world to eat. Lexa swallows and coughs, trying to clear her throat. "I, uh. Yeah, that's where we're going actually."

"God, I'm so in love with you." Clarke says, pressing an opened mouthed kiss to her cheek. She pulls away and looks to Elijah who is too busy playing with the cards in his hands to pay attention to them. "Ready, baby?"

Elijah nods and tosses his cards back onto the table before reaching for his mothers' hands and leading them towards the front door. Lexa shakes her head with a laugh and lets his lead them all the way down the stairs and onto the empty street, the fall air crisp in the night. Lexa holds Clarke tightly, the blonde tucked into her chest as they walk the few blocks to the restaurant, Elijah talking animatedly the entire way, making the night so much better with all the stories he has to tell.

"Reservation?" The host asks, looking up at them as they walk in.

"Woods." Lexa says, tucking her hands into her pockets as the older woman searches for her name.

"Yes, there you are." The host says, a smile on her face as she grabs menus for the three of them. She nods for them to follow her and leads them through the fairly crowded front dining hall towards the very back to a private room. "You'll have your very own personal staff tonight." She starts to set up their dinner table in the small, dark-lit room. "Anything you need, they'll be more than happy to serve you."

"Thank you." Lexa says as she pulls Clarke's chair out for her; she goes to help Elijah into his booster sit but he shakes his head, climbing into it himself with a triumphant smile. She opens the coloring book for him that the restaurant provides so he'll have something to do and sits down herself.

"A private room?" Clarke asks, after having been silent for a moment. She looks at Lexa, an eyebrow raised in question, "It's not any of our birthday's or an anniversary. I'm really starting to think that you did something wrong and you're using food to try to make it better."

"I promise, it's nothing." Lexa promises, interlacing their fingers together. "I just... I wanted to take you out, okay? Can I not do that for my girl?"

Clarke swoons at Lexa's words and she nods, "Of course you can, baby, but you don't have to take me out to an expensive dinner. I'd be more than happy with a burger from Wendy's and some cheesy fries."

Lexa's face scrunches in disgust, "All of that is processed junk, Clarke. I already hate that you put it in your body."

"It's delicious." Clarke argues, always one ready to disagree with Lexa's healthy life style. "It kept your son fed for nine months, thank you very much."

"Believe me, I know. I was surprised he didn't come out as a chicken nugget."

Clarke snorts out a laugh, "Oh my God, that was awful, even for you."

Lexa winces at her bad joke, "Yeah, I know. Forget I said it."

The waiter comes to take their order and the rest of dinner goes by with laughter and a family full of love for one another. When they're almost done, Elijah shoves his empty plate of mac n' cheese away and looks to Lexa, "I gotta potty." He says, already hopping down from his seat.

"Finish your dinner, I've got him." Lexa says, resting a hand on Clarke's knee before the blonde can fully get up. She kisses Clarke's cheek and stands up, grabbing for Elijah's hand before they head out of the private room and onto the main floor.

"Good job, buddy. I'm proud of you for remembering to say something."

"Thank you, momma but I really has to potty." Elijah says, starting to do a familiar dance that indicates he really has to pee.

Lexa laughs and picks him up, "Bathroom we go then."

Clarke sits at the table, taking her time in finishing her salad as she waits for the two of them to get back. From experience she knows that sometimes it can be an ordeal and take a little while longer because Elijah has trouble following directions. She's piling dishes on top of one another to make it easier on their waiter when Lexa and Elijah finally walk back into the room a little while later, "Everything okay?"

"I did it without momma's help." Elijah says, his hands swinging back and forth as he stays next to Lexa. "I get a sticker."

"That's my boy." Clarke says, patting her lap. "Come here, we can order your favorite dessert."

Elijah shakes his head and looks up to Lexa, "We do it now?"

Lexa nods, grabbing his hand. "Yeah, we can do it now."

"What are you two up to?" Clarke asks once again.

"I love you more than anything in the world, you know that right?" Lexa starts, slowly making her way over to Clarke. "Not just because of Elijah, although I'm more than happy you gave him to me; we wouldn't be us without him. But because... because you're you. I don't have the words to describe my love for you. Frankly, I don't think a word exists that exactly describes all that I feel for you. You're my life, Clarke-"

"Lexa..." Clarke starts, eyes filling with tears.

"Let me finish, please." Lexa holds her hand up and Clarke nods, signaling for her to continue. "Waking up to you everyday is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Before you, I didn't care about a family or doing all of the things other people do but you changed me, Clarke. Your smile, your laugh, everything about you is the definition of perfection. I look at you sometimes and I swear to God my heart stops beating because you're just... your'e everything to me. I watch you with our son and I know that no one in this entire world has a mother like you. Whether we only have Eli or we have twenty more children, I know for a fact you'll love every single one of them and they'll never have to worry about how you feel. You care so much about the people you love and it blows me away that you always find something good in someone, no matter what. When I have a hard time or I'm not feeling like myself, I know that you'll be able to pull be back. 

"You the bestest mommy ever." Elijah adds, finally going to Clarke and hugging her legs.

Lexa pulls a small box from her pocket and gets down on one knee. "I know we've got another semester of school left and that we talked about waiting until after we graduate to even think about getting married but I've been carrying this box around with me for over a year now and I can't keep it from you anymore. I mean what I say when I want forever with you. So, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?"

Clarke knew it was coming. Lexa was a hell of a romantic but the pieces had clicked together by the time Lexa had started her speech but that didn't keep Clarke's jaw from dropping at the words. She didn't care that she was crying or that her make-up was probably running (or the fact that she was every cliche possible) all that mattered was that Lexa was in front of her, asking for forever with her. "Of course I'll marry you." She says, getting up to wrap her arms around Lexa's neck, pressing kisses all over her tan skin.

By the time Clarke has calmed down, she pulls away to look at Lexa, "What?" The brunette asks, kissing Clarke's jaw.

"I just love you a lot." Clarke says, looking at the ring; her eyes grow wide at the size. "Holy shit, it's huge!"

Lexa would usually scold Clarke for cursing in front of their three-year-old but she didn't have the heart to tell her. She pulled the ring from it's safe spot and slipped it onto her finger, "I love you, too, Clarke. So much."

Clarke goes to kiss Lexa once more but is kept from doing so by Elijah who climbs onto her lap, getting in between them. He looks at the ring, the shininess of it catching his eye but after a second he looks away and to his parents, "Is it time for cake now?"

0o0o0

Almost year later, Lexa stands at the alter with Elijah next to her, both in their matching tuxedos. It's a minute to four and Lexa is getting anxious for the music to start and the double doors to open to reveal Clarke. They'd spent the night away from each other; Lincoln and Anya taking Lexa for the night and Raven and Octavia taking Clarke, the engaged couple not happy in the slightest to spend their first night apart in years. They went with a summertime wedding since everyone would be back in town and even though Lexa would never admit it to anyone, she was glad everyone was together. 

"You got this, Lex." Lincoln whispers to his cousin just as the music starts.

Lexa turns her attention to the double doors and as soon as they open and Octavia and Raven have come far enough down the aisle for Clarke to be seen, tucked under her father's arm, Lexa stops breathing. Her eyes fill with tears and she has to turn away for a moment to compose herself before turning back to watch her soon to be wife walk closer and closer to her. Clarke, in her white wedding dress is the most beautiful she's ever seen her and Lexa knows she'll never forget this moment.

"Who is here to give this young woman away?" The minister asks, looking at Jake.

"Her mother and I." Jake says, pressing a kiss to Clarke's cheek before letting her go; he gives Lexa a smile and goes to sit with his wife.

Clarke interlaces their fingers together after she wipes away the few tears that have slipped from Lexa's green eyes, the smile on her face never faltering once. "I love you." She mouthes before the older man starts speaking again.

The wedding goes by in a flash, Lexa barely succeeds in repeating after the minister, too wrapped in everything Clarke. Before she knows what's happening, she's pulling Clarke in for a kiss and they're being introduced as Mrs. and Mrs. Lexa Woods and all Lexa wants to do is hold Clarke and cry happy tears because this is all that she's wanted for so long.

"The reception will be across the street!" Raven yells as Clarke and Lexa walk back down the aisle, all their family and friends cheering and yelling their congratulations. Elijah having been scooped up by his babysitter so the adults could have their fun.

While everyone else heads across the street to the reception, Clarke and Lexa head towards their make-shift dressing room to change into more comfortable clothes and have their first few moments of privacy together as a newly married couple. Clarke shuts the door and turns around, only to be pulled into a kiss by Lexa, who never wants to let her go.

"I love you." Lexa says, pressing kisses down her jaw. "I love you so god damn much, Clarke."

Clarke cups Lexa's cheeks, kissing her softly. "I love you, too. You have no idea."

"You're my wife." Lexa says, blown away, her fingers bunching up Clarke's dress as she grasps her hips. "My beautiful, sexy, wife. God, I'll never forget what you looked like today. I've never seen anyone or anything so beautiful."

"Stop it." Clarke says, hugging Lexa tightly. "Can you believe it? We're married."

"I know." Lexa says, still in disbelief. "No regrets?"

"None." Clarke promises as she turns so her back faces Lexa. "Help me out of this?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Lexa says, lips pressing to her neck as she unzips the dress slowly, taking her time to worship every part of skin that becomes exposed.

They forget about the people waiting for them across the street.

Forty-five minutes later Clarke and Lexa walk into the reception hall, both dressed in more comfortable clothes and guilty looks on their faces for making people wait for them, although no one seemed to care. Everyone was doing their own thing.

"Let's welcome the newlyweds with their first dance!" Jasper yells dramatically from the DJ booth (which was really just an iPod with a playlist of songs that Clarke and Lexa chose). "Oh, by the way, congratulations guys!"

Clarke laughs and blows him a kiss before pulling Lexa onto the dance floor, "You never told me what our first dance was going to be, you know."

"That's because I want it to be a surprise." Lexa says, hands resting on Clarke's hip as the beat of the song began.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck, head coming to rest against her chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Lexa said as they started to sway to the music.

Hours later and after a dramatic goodbye with Elijah for the week, Clarke and Lexa were on their way out of the country to spend a week on their honeymoon, just the two of them spending their time worshipping one another.

0o0o0

"Elijah, wait. Hold on a second." Clarke says, scolding the five and a half year old little boy who won't stop fidgeting with his halloween costume. "I'm almost done, just give me a minute, okay?"

"Okay." Elijah says, standing straighter so Clarke can finish doing what's she's doing. "Sorry, mommy."

"It's okay, baby." Clarke said, kissing his forehead as she stands up. "You're all done."

Elijah excitedly runs over to the mirror to look at himself in the mirror and squeals, jumping up and down. "Mommy, look at my face!"

Clarke nods, running her fingers through his short hair; the little boy had wanted to be a zombie for halloween and Clarke gladly put her art skills to good use. Using old clothes, a sharpie and some make-up and the little boy was the cutest zombie the blonde had ever seen.

"I can't wait to show Hayley and Micah!" Elijah said of the two-year-old twins of Lincoln and Octavia. "Where's momma, I wanna show her now!"

"Go on, she's in the office." Clarke said, nodding towards the end of the hallway where Lexa was probably hard at work, trying to finish what she needed to before they met up with their friends to take their children trick-or-treating.

"Yes!" Elijah pumps his fist in the air and takes off down the hallway of their new house and towards his mother's office. "Momma, can I come in?"

"Of course." Lexa says, pausing her work as the little boy walks into the room. "Whoa, look at you. Did Mommy do that for you?"

Elijah nods and climbs onto her lap, not caring that he's interrupting her work, (Lexa doesn't care either). "Look at my shirt! Mommy wrote it!"  
  
Lexa lifts Elijah up a little bit to get a better look at the rest of his costume and her eye's grow wide as she reads what's on the shirt: _This little zombie is going to be a big brother. June 2019._  Her heart skips a beat and she goes to yell for Clarke but stops when she sees the blonde leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. "Is this true? You're pregnant?"

Clarke nods, a smile growing on her face, "Mom confirmed it last week and I know you love Halloween so I thought this would be the best way to tell you. Elijah was excited to help out, of course."

There's a knock at the front door and they hear Octavia's loud voice; she's excited for the twins to be able to actually join in this year.

"I get it!" Elijah says, jumping down and running to the front door.

Lexa stands up, knowing they'll have a few minutes alone together with the kids distracting Lincoln and Octavia and the others. She shuts the door and wraps her arms around Clarke's waist, "We're having another baby?"

Clarke nods, pressing a kiss to her jaw. "Looks like you knocked me up again, Woods. Are you happy?"

"Am I happy?" Lexa asks, shaking her head in disbelief. "I've been wanting another baby for years."

"Really?" Clarke asks, clearly surprised. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew it would happen when it was meant to." Lexa says, kissing her softly. "I can't wait to go on this journey with you again."

"At least this time I'm not being an idiot and hiding things from you." Clarke says, taping her fingers against Lexa's chest.

"Hey." Lexa says, giving her wife a look; soft hands cupping her cheeks. "That's in the past. I know things didn't go as planned when we were having Elijah but we wouldn't be here if it happened any other way. I'm here, you're here. We have the best five year old anyone could ever ask for and a beautiful baby on the way. I don't regret what happened in high school because it led us to this, right here."

"If I wasn't already pregnant, that would've done it for me." 

Lexa laughs and kisses her, letting her wife know how she feels without even having to use words. After a moment, they pull away, foreheads resting against each other. "I love you, Clarke. Everything we've ever been through, it was supposed to happen, even if it sucked at the time. You're my forever. That's all that matters to me. You, this family, we've got this because we've got each other."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've got several one shots planned for this story but if anyone has ideas that they'd like me to write just leave it in the comments and I'll see what I can do.


End file.
